A late Diwali gift

Hiya peeps,
A chinna break from blogging, thanx to my laziness and tensions around ;)... Anyhow, now that I'm back to business, let me just jot down today's experiences. First of all, a million thanks to Karthik and Anooj for today's gift. We, guys/gals @ QBurst, have started a small social initiative called "It's My Duty". Just a small way to fulfil atleast some of our social responsibilties. Just to quote from the group's motto..
'Itsmyduty' is an initiative which is being launched by QBurst employees. The aim of 'ItsmyDuty' is to extend some help to the under-privileged people around us. This is not an NGO or any charitable trust. This is a group of young professionals, who wish to give something back to the society in the most simple and possible way.
Today was it's first Day of Action. Literally, that would be false as we have been going over this again and again for the last few weeks. Leaving that aside, the plan for today was to help out the folks @ Care Home(http://bit.ly/amM2Pv). Yesterday, a few of us went over there for the initial preparation of how we would be helping out. Reaching there, we came to know that most of the inmates get clothes and medicines on regular basis from social groups. They did tell us that some Infy people used to provide medicines and food on a regular basis. So for the time being, only thing that would have helped was a thook-paathram, a small can with cover. These people used to take plastic mugs to get tea. Imagine, you or me drinking tea from a plastic mug ? That's what those people live through at times.
Anyhow, so Anooj and Karthik went back and got those cans yesterday night itself. Well, I come into play only today. We had already planned to come here on Saturday and so early morning, I called up Matt, our own Mathew the Polapist, from my project team. He gave me the directions to the place. We were all supposed to reach there in between 10-10:30, but then how can anyone be on time. So by the time the whole team had assembled, it was past 11:30. In between, we had those cans wiped up and filled it with some sweets. Next in line was giving it to the folks @ Care Home. There are around 100 members there. A few of them were out when we reached. So we gathered up the cans and made our way to the main hall. The place seemed so out of life, all dark and deary. But the location is too good, away from the hustle-bustle of the city with only the occasional airplane landing and taking-off. So they, the people of Care Home, were all gathered and waiting for us. And we were waiting for a few more team members to arrive. After a few minutes, we decided against keeping the old folks from waiting. We all went in and there was a small prayer by one of the inmates. After that, they prayed for us too, thanking us for the initiative. Well frankly speaking, that just made the day for most of us. To receive blessings from elderly persons is one of the greatest gifts. Then we started distributing the cans among them, first among those present in the hall and then to those who couldn't get up and come there. Going through all those rooms was disturbing, to say the least. People with no hope left, bitter from the experience that the world has handed out to them.
In the words of Anoop Nair, "Ivarde makkale onnu kittiyirengil"...
So after spending roughly an hour with them, we all left for our respective homes. And here lies the synopsis of today ;)

An update to the post:
Here's the link for the snaps that we took on that day ;)

This is Jo signing off,
Adios for now


Token of a tear-drop

Something that came out yesterday without any particular rhyme or reason:

A thousand words flow thru my mind now,
Some of them good, other worser than anything.
All these pent up feelings will have to come out,
Praying that it doesn't blow at the wrong time.

I haven't heard my thoughts clearly for long,
My desires, buried behind a cloak of sociality,
Never thought a wound of heart would hurt so much,
Far easier to bear those on the skin.

My sight turns to her without rhyme,
Like a sunflower that follows the sun.
Distances would deepen the chasm between,
How foolish of me to think so.

Love pains the heart,
But the thoughts of her make them bearable.
Thinking of this as infatuation,
Is like equating a torrent to a drizzle.

The bounds that hold me are weaking,
Yet I fear the faltering.
Feeding my ego as a safeguard,
Yet the sight of her bring it down to her knees.

This pain inside me is maddening,
The misery so sickening,
The mere sight of her gives me weak knees,
I want to forget, i want to smile.

Not the hollow smile that I have these days,
But a heart-felt laugh at my self.
Words show me the way out,
The heart does not want to hear.

Stuck in this prison of self-captivity,
I can't let go of her thoughts.
It hurts, it falls,
My eyes well up, yet tears are not seen.


Travails in KelaLand

Hiya guys,
Over the last few months, it's been kinda hectic in one sense and yet bland to some extent. So there wasn't much to blog about. But then, no use keeping a blog if there aren't any posts :).. This post is actually a short story, maybe a wee- bit long, that I made up yesterday.

Welcome to KelaLand, the land of bananas and monkeys. This is one of the most happening cities in the jungle of Keberia. Even though KelaLand has gone thru quite some turmoil, it still is a peaceful place where monkeys eat their bananas without fear. However over the years, a few greedy monkeys became dominant and they established a so-called "democratic" style of government. But at present, there are so many factions in the government that the monkeys have started to play "Group-Group".So there are quite a few groups like Achutma group, with a banana peeler as their symbol, and the Chandima group with their long fingered bony hand symbol. Presently, Achutma group is in control due their superiority in howling and Chandima group's incompetence.

This is the present situation of KelaLand's governance. But this story isn't about them, it's about a fiasco that has left the inhabitants of KelaLand standing with "tails in their hands". This is happened a few months ago and they are still waiting for the report. KelaLand, as some of you may know, is currently in state of rapid development and growth. So the Achutma group were trying their level best to showcase that. Incidentally, one of the group leader monkey went on to say that they would provide a "high-class" roadway to the common monkey for travel purpose. The monkey, I think he was mentally imbalanced due to a recent fall, made promises that the road would be done within a week. The common monkeys were overjoyed at the thought of enjoying a good travel. Soon the week passed and there was no sign of the so-called "high-class" pathway of commerce. There was however, some signs of progress such as cleaning the sides of the pathway and eviction of monkeys who used to stay on those trees. The week after, however the pathway was filled with branches and travel became impossible. In short, the current state of the "high-class" roadway is deplorable. So the common monkeys went to a PI(Private Investigator) to find out the reasons.

The PI was a cunning fellow who with his "detective"giri found out the reasons in a jiffy. These reasons, however are still classified and top-secret to the common monkeys. This is how the report goes,
On the day of announcement by the ROAD (Road Operations And Development) monkey, he had a fight with his wife. The wife had yelled so much at him that his ear-drums were knocked out. On top of that was the nagging about him being a "good-for-nothing" bugger. There were even taunts of asking him to go drown himself in a pail of water. Seething with anger, the ROAD monkey went over to the nearest bar and had a few "extra-large" pegs of Vodka. On way back to his office after this boozing binge, he slipped and banged his head on a coconut tree. All the coconuts fell one after the other on his already reeling head. A few stars and a small blackout, our poor monkey was up again. But his way of walking wasn't ready yet and so like a whirlwind, our poor monkey went round and round in spirals. In the course of this dramatic journey, he came across "many" bumps over which he stumbled and fumbled onto his office. The "many" bumps in reality was just 2-3 bumps which, due the circular motion of our monkey's movement, was encountered again and again. He got a light-bulb as how to impress his wife. So in his state of delirium, he made the announcement that road would be made "high-class".
The next day, the poor ROAD monkey came to his senses and noticed the "many" bumps that he saw yesterday. But due to pride and honor, he wanted to do a grand job. So he ordered his staff to start expanding the roadway too. They dutifully carried out his orders until one fine day, the wife, with regret over her outburst, patched up with the ROAD monkey. Happy at having regained his wife's love, he ordered all work to stop.

The branches mystery is as follows:
The Chandima group had seen how the ROAD monkey was trying to make a "high-class" roadway but they couldn't just let that happen. So they conspired with Hyenas to create obstructions to the development. All the trees that had been cleared as a part of the road widening exercise were dragged back onto the roadway. The Chandima group had not been aware that the work had stopped for almost a week. So what happened was that, the "high-class" roadway became a "low-class" roadway which is unusable at present.

This document is still in the hands of the P.I. who's waiting for either groups to come and strike a deal with him.

PS : This is a fictional recreation with no resemblance to the MC Road fiasco near the Nalanchira stretch. All characters are figments of the author's imagination and bear no resemblance to any living and/or dead monkey politicians of Kerala


Rantings of the devil's mind

Na jaane is dil mein kya armaan hai, jo chainse mujhe sone na de. Aapki ki yaad hai ya meri nighahoon ki talaash hai, jo mere dil ko itni bebas kar gayi. Agar aap yeh sun paaye to zaraa gaur karna in lafzon par. Yaar hamne kai banaye, dildaar par ek bhi nahi. Kuch lamhe aapke paas baithe rehe, par itne kam teh woh ki hum aaj bhi taraste rahe. Shayad hamne ishq na kiya aapse, par kwahish yahi thi ki aap ko koi dard na de. Iss kadr aapko sambhalna chaha ki palko mein aasu na aaye. Hame wafa jataana nahi aata kyun yeh hamaari fitrat nahi ki har doosre par isse qurbaan kar chale. Tamanaa thi ki aapko yeh jahaan dikhaye, kuch hamaari nazronse aur kuch aapke lafzonse. Is dil ki kashish kyun aapko bataye, phir dard kahin aape na chaye. Hamne lakh ki koshish is baat ko yehin dafan karne ki, par kambhakt yeh dil maanta hi nahi. To likh pade yeh farmaan aapke naam ki, yeh soch kar ki shayad dard kuch kam ho.

Have I ever been in love ? Why do I need to ask this F*#%@!# question, i don't know. Maybe I have never fallen in love in the first place. Never felt the pain of waiting for her, never felt the excitement while talking to her, never felt the rush of blood when near her, never felt those weak knees when she was looking, never felt the ecstasy of smelling her perfume in a crowd, never felt the soft feeling of caring for her, never felt the anxiety of worrying for her, never felt the wild sweep of blood when she was hurt, never felt the tenderly care when she needed me most, never felt so foolish when i stumbled near her, never felt the pride when she was there by my side, never felt the pain when she left me standing there all alone.

What a F^$@$%$%^, lame post on love !!


Gooooaaaaal !!

Long time since I last blogged. So to cut the story short, let's do it with today's account :). An awful morning given the fact that I'm down with fever and cough. So got up early, mainly due to no sleep, but couldn't get my head up. MA and Saar went for breakfast and they bought a parcel for us, Me and Sakhaav Thampi. While they left for breakfast, yours truly found the head to come and have a go at Mafia. Going thru Facebook now reminds of Orkut and it's fake IDs. Anyways, By the time MA was back, I had my fill of Mafia and gave up the laptop to MA. In the meantime, I finished Oye!!. A nice film that was a tragedy but tugged a few strings in my heart. WTF am I blogging ? God knows how I-centric this peice of shit feels like....
Anyways, after handing over the lap to MA, I tuned into FM thru my mofile and it was a treat. Most of the 90's songs were being played and to hear those songs was like....just Chocolate. Got Binu Saar to hear some and let me on the films that those songs were from. Saar is a walking encyclopedia as far as I know. Things ranging from Cricket to Movies, Bit-rates to Torrents, He's the man. Given his looks, the guy packs more than a punch. That's a few words in honor of our great Binu a.k.a Sasi Saar and now back to track.
After a few hours of music, it was back to lap and I can't exactly place what happened in between. Short term memory loss or maybe a side-effect of looming diabetes ;). By that time, it was almost 7 and there was another prograam for me which had totally slipped of my mind. Argentina's opening match against Nigeria. So called up Sundar to know whether he would be available at home, more specifically if I could watch the match over there. Given the fact that Sundar's Dad and Bro are sports lovers makes it easier for us on occasions such as these. So after a quick change, I made off to Sundar's house. Given the fact that I was dead for the 1st half of the day makes me wonder if I could have been more passionate about B.Tech too. Leaving that thought train for another post sometime later...
Landed at Sundar's place a good 1&1/2 min late but thankfully there weren't any goals till then. A few minutes into the game and Heinze's header gave the first goal and tweet from me. Speaking of tweets, Twitter's given a total face-lift to m.twitter.com. It now comes with a reply option along with a new UI. But it loads slow on my phone :(. Back to the game.... After the first goal, the game started to drag, Argentina weren't looking to attack much. Everyone was feeding Messi with the ball and it seemed like a off day for the chap. Veron looked out of touch with the new ball. Sundar's dad told me that the new ball had lesser friction and so traveled faster. Maybe that's why the kicks made the ball to fly over the posts rather than into it. Anyways, during the short interval, I made a dash to the medical shop. Had my prescription with me and few more tablets needed to be purchased. So bought a couple of 3-day dosage, for Me and Thampi. After that, another dash to Sundar's house before the match resumed. Missed another 2 min but the game was looking already settled in favor of Argentina. Messi's attacks were not up-to the mark and the team as a whole wasn't the best that we have seen lately. Given the fact that Nigeria played like high-school kids at times makes it unbearable that the score reads 1-0 only...
After the match, it was time for some paet pooja. So went to Arul Jyoti after a long long time and had a Masala Dosa. My tongue still doesn't pick up the taste and it feels like s$#@ to not to be able to taste ur food. After that, caught a bus that got me to Vikas Bhavan depot and then a small walk to Kani. Over here, Thampi was watching Green Zone and I joined him half way thru the film. A good one from what I saw. After the movie was over, MA took over and next on the card was England's match. MA's an England fan. So he took on live streaming to watch the match. A few minutes into the game and I was bored since no white and blue Jerseys were visible :)... I left for a quite sleep, by that time, MA was bored too and so he handed over the system. Thampi took over before I could get here and so we had another movie session, She's out of my league. Another a so-called romantic flick that's bland to say the least. After that this is what happened.


Aapke intezaar mein

Aapse baat kiye ek arsa beet gaya,
Mere ye kaan, aapke alfaaz sunne ke liye taraste rahe.
Nighahon ko thandak aapkse ke deedaarse mile.
Is zehan mein aapka nasha bhara hai
Par jaane kyun aapse hi duur rehte hain.
Agar ye awaaz aap sunte hai,
To ek nazar is naacheez par daal dena,
Kahin aapke intezaar mein, yunhi marna jaaye hum.

Kitne dino ke baad, yeh dil aaj hindi mein bak raha hai. Kuch Aapki yaad, kuch ek change ke liye. Din bahut beet gaye yunhi chup rehkar, magar ab raha nahi jaata humse. Aap logonse baat kiye bina chain na aaye. par baat karne ke liye kuch ho tab na.Ek aur shaam jaane ko aayi, aur ek raat hone ko aayi. Hamme aapki yaad ne tarsaaya. lekin dard saale dil ne kamaaya. Gaali hum dena chahete hain, par kambhat is tehzeeb ne rok rakha hai. Bakwaas to hamaari purani aadat hai, par kuch aur kehe bhi to kya. Milte hain hum roz kisi na kisi se, par aapki yaad ne peecha nahi chhoda. Zehan ki awaaz ko kaise ansoona kare, to likh baithe ye choti si paighaam.

Alvida abhi ke liye,


A F&@^# up Post

Totally random thoughts need to sync for a new idea to sprout leaves. A happening new year for me, seems like a constant high almost. What to blog about is out of the question for now. Just getting my thought pattern synced. A lot of CB tweets seems to have my mind reeling. For a totally jobless, bored writer it may be gr8, but for people like me it seems so annoying. Random tweets to read thru while in a highly tense testing envioronment seems like chore. Heart's happy with the fact that Knight Riders are on the high again. But mind warns against an IPL I repeat. Reading thru those books gives me a short break from despair, White Tiger and Inheritance of a Loss. But the recent lack of water in the taps is another twist on the already paining nerve of mine. On top of these, Buzz is F@#*#$ getting on my nerves. Everytime I open up Gmail, there's a whole lot of Buzzes to be read thru, F&$^$ u Google. Next in the line of firing is the bloody hell Zygna servers. Who the bloody f$%@ dropped coffee on them ?? Can't play a nice game of Mafia Wars after a totally exhausted day @ work. After that comes the relization that I have been shown the brutal naked face of life by my GR8 parents. Had a call from home stating to aim f&*$## higher, finish the F$%^$%^ B.Tech, get a better-paying job. In short, try to be like Liju chachan. WTF ?? I ain't a f%$^%$ machine to score 90+ scores and earn 30+ salary. I F#%%$# didn't want B.Tech in the 1st place, got B.Tech okey-dokey, who the hell thought IT would be such a royal pain in the arse. Got so many Back-logs that my Exam forms are starting to have less space to fill in all details. Damn the formatting for this post. It's a one single tirade against my F&$#^&# messed-up life. Foooooooh, that's done for now....

Now with the good things that have been happening to me. I got The White Tiger and Inheritance of a Loss as gifts for my 24th F&#@* birthday. I saw Naresh Iyer live b4 my eyes with friends by my side. I got to see a gr8 film yesterday, Vinnathandi Varuvaaya. I called up my First Love after so many long years,er.. months. I get to chat with a girl who's got the same thought patterns as me, atleast in terms of Mafia Wars and Kolkata :). Office life's starting to ease a bit around these days. Changed my F*#&*#-up old sandals for a new set. Fooooh, now that really feels gr8 :)... I forgive you, Zygna, for messing up those servers. I forgive you, CB, for those mindless tweets. But I ain't F#$#$% forgiving the Damn PWD assholes for f#$%$^& up my gr8 weekend with no water.

Signing off for now,

Until next time with a few more F#$%#$% and a few more choicest abuses....


Excerpts from a sweet memory

I wrote down this post last night, so most of the time references would be shifted by a day ;). Anyways, 2morow is the 14th of Feb, Valentine's Day. A day of love, westernized maybe, but still a special day for guys like us. Let the moral police go to hell, do what you wanna do but within the civilized limits. So starting of with my post ::

2morow night would be the 3rd anniversary. Can't believe I had so much balls to give a love-letter to a girl. A spur of the moment decision and off I was, with Criti, to Archies @ Overbridge to buy a card. Chose one that looked sweet yet simple. Hope "She" still has it with her. Was awake till 2 in the morning, re-writing letters, re-phrasing my words, making up poems and what not. Think I wrote my letter at least thrice b4 the final copy was ready.

Next day, was on hyper-drive. Came to college, late as usual, with only thing in mind. To propose to mi lady. Still remember the shivering and those knocking knees. Right in the classroom where I sat for 3 semesters, I opened up my heart. Another thing that binds my memory to GEC, Room no. 305. That room helped open my heart twice, once 3yrs back two days from now, and next on 26th of June last yr. I left my B.Tech in that class, after almost 3 yrs of fun with my old batch, joined back to B.Tech with my new batch in that same class, made new friends there and finally bade farewell to college from that very same room.

Coming back to Feb'07, I walked up and called her out from her gang. Gave her the card and my letter. Nothing filmy, just simple exchange of thoughts. Told her about my feelings for her, from the 1st day of college when I first saw her big eyes, her specs and those jasmine flowers on her hair. I did have doubts whether I could convey all that in whatever Malayalam I knew. Somehow, by God's grace I managed. She replied stating facts that she wasn't the best option for me then. All that she said on that day stills rings loud and clear in my ears. Even now, it hurts to think that I let go of such a sweet girl and completely messed it up. Not that I blame her for what she said, but myself for being so naive and laid-back when it comes to matters like these. I don't win arguments, not now and certainly not back then.

Looking back, I have learn't a thing or two for that experience. One, love at first sight isn't a myth. Two, it's great to have a broken heart, for you can learn to start anew. Three, it showed that unless you give it your all, you won't get what you yearn for. But then, I wouldn't have messed up, my already messed up, life so much if I hadn't "Niked".
Anyways, memories will remain and looking back to days after that, I gained so much in life that it could be termed as a blessing in disguise. See where I stand nwo, a nice job, an incomplete degree and ready-to-fall-in-love heart. In short, seems like "Jo hota hai, acche ke liye hi hota hai"(No pun intended).


Are we truly the Republic of India ??

Bored with nothing else to do. Mafia Wars is down for maintainence. Got up late after a long late-night surfing session. There goes the 60th Republic Day of India. Was going thru NDTV's editorials when something related to our Constitution came up. One of the articles was about the events thru which our Constitution was framed. The link to the article is Constitution: The Real Story. Felt gr8 to read that those who framed this gr8 book of rules were far better human beings than most of us today. They looked at everything ranging reservation to judiciary with a different perspective. They questioned their authority in framing those tenets of republic india. Looking at those high ideals which they upheld while framing the Constitution makes me wonder whether we would ever see politicians as good as them. Given the current state of India's beaurocracy, the slogan "Sau mein ninyanve beyimaan, phir bhi mera Bharat mahan" seems so apt for the Indian psyche.

The image has been removed from the hosted site :(

Don't know why I wanna blog this even though I myself am a part of this systematically corrupted beaurocracy. All changes take place from within and with a hope that from today, the 60th Republic Day of our great nation, I would try to be a better Indian, a better person and, most importantly, a better human being. This post seems to be poised to make me more confused about my sense of patriotism. Which would be better, we, not me, being an Indian who stands up and salutes the National Flag on "THESE" days and then forgets about it, or we being the Indian who respect the Flag, the Nation and most importantly, our fellow Indian brothers and sisters ? Rather than the pretence that we love India, let us come forward and show that we do really care about our Motherland. So next time, you hear our National Song or Anthem being played, please do stand up in respect. This is just a test of whether we would be ready to do what is right even if it seems contrary to the public belief.

Signing off for now,
Jai Hind


Back into Action......

The longest delay b/w posts ends today. Throwing off the laziness that has surrounded me, I hereby resume my blogging activities from today. Blah-blah-blah.. Had so many things to post about the last 2/3 months but I won't go into that. It has bogged me down till now, no more. The main aim behind this post today is to document the fact that I saw another of my seniors in Technopark.

About the day so far, nothing much expect that I am growing lazier as the days go by. Haven't yet transferred my this month's budget into my running account. Hoping to do that tomorow early morning. Got up late around 9, slept for another hour or so. Had a late breakfast and got ready for office. Reached office, did some catching up with yesterday's mail and stuff and before I knew, it was time for lunch. Went out with one of my team-mates, Angel. The place was actually a house where lunch is also served much like the Marakada b4 our college. Filled up my stomach to the max, so much that I couldn't stand straight. Came back to office, did some testing, prepared a few testcases and as time flew, it was time for the next break.

We usually have tea from the Food Court on the 7th floor. The whole team is around during those times, i.e the 5 of us. Arun chettan's missing in action bcoz of his reccent nose surgery. Poor guy, can't even breathe properly at present and so he's on leave for now. Anyways, we bought tea and Kappa for snacks. It's usually biscuits but today, I was still feeling damn hungry. Had a gr8 time there, eating, talking, making fun of each other and last, but not the least, looking at the beauties surrounding us. Frankly, the best of Trivandrum can be found, at Technopark or specifically, in the FoodCourt at lunch and snacks time. After a wonderful half an hour, we all came back to the office. Next in line was the remaining work to be done. Given the low amount of work for the last few days, it was child's play and then back to Kathis in office. How work and fun goes hand in hand can be learn't 1st hand at Qburst. Man, the culture here's just amazing. Frankly, the 1st place any newbie should work is QBurst, the pay may be a bit low at first but the learning curve's great.

Moving on to next phase, Dinner time. Usually I get out by 9:30 and it's hectic work till then. But today, given the low stress, I made my way to Bhavani, the opp. building for dinner. Chicken Noodles was the only thing left and amazingly, my stomach got filled with that. Came back home in company cab, and on the way to home, I was almost sure that today there would be a post no matte how late it gets. Well the post is almost over and the main info is still missing. :)

This happened while I was coming back from Bhavani to my office. After having the delicious dinner, me and Arun chettan, this is another Arun, G for prosterity sake, were coming back in the lift. From the floor below the canteen, a few girls got in, Infy I think. I didn't see any special beauty in between them until another one got in. At first, I wasn't sure whether it was her, and given my nature, I would stay mum rather ask her. But then, I knew it had to be her Linda Mary Joshep Stanley, I hope the name's in correct order, for the resemblance was far too much for her to be someone else. At that perfect instance, my tongue got stuck and I couldn't gather courage to ask whether it was her. Can't believe that I can't change for the better.

Anyway's she got out at bottom floor, came out of the building, turned left and I turned right. End of story for now.

Signing off for now...
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