7/10/2010

Rantings of the devil's mind

Na jaane is dil mein kya armaan hai, jo chainse mujhe sone na de. Aapki ki yaad hai ya meri nighahoon ki talaash hai, jo mere dil ko itni bebas kar gayi. Agar aap yeh sun paaye to zaraa gaur karna in lafzon par. Yaar hamne kai banaye, dildaar par ek bhi nahi. Kuch lamhe aapke paas baithe rehe, par itne kam teh woh ki hum aaj bhi taraste rahe. Shayad hamne ishq na kiya aapse, par kwahish yahi thi ki aap ko koi dard na de. Iss kadr aapko sambhalna chaha ki palko mein aasu na aaye. Hame wafa jataana nahi aata kyun yeh hamaari fitrat nahi ki har doosre par isse qurbaan kar chale. Tamanaa thi ki aapko yeh jahaan dikhaye, kuch hamaari nazronse aur kuch aapke lafzonse. Is dil ki kashish kyun aapko bataye, phir dard kahin aape na chaye. Hamne lakh ki koshish is baat ko yehin dafan karne ki, par kambhakt yeh dil maanta hi nahi. To likh pade yeh farmaan aapke naam ki, yeh soch kar ki shayad dard kuch kam ho.

Have I ever been in love ? Why do I need to ask this F*#%@!# question, i don't know. Maybe I have never fallen in love in the first place. Never felt the pain of waiting for her, never felt the excitement while talking to her, never felt the rush of blood when near her, never felt those weak knees when she was looking, never felt the ecstasy of smelling her perfume in a crowd, never felt the soft feeling of caring for her, never felt the anxiety of worrying for her, never felt the wild sweep of blood when she was hurt, never felt the tenderly care when she needed me most, never felt so foolish when i stumbled near her, never felt the pride when she was there by my side, never felt the pain when she left me standing there all alone.

What a F^$@$%$%^, lame post on love !!

2 comments:

ViVeK ViJaYaN said...

wow..badiya hai...

Joju Rajan said...

Thanx machu !!

This is a lot personal angst coming out in this post. Hoping that no-one empathizes with this.

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