Cupid Yahoo

When reality becomes stranger than fiction and life seems like a movie, that's when you know that something grand has been set in motion.

Dev never knew that the stranger he was going to befriend via Yahoo chat would turn his life upside down. As per routine, he logged in and started searching for ids to chat with. One of the IDs in the chat room caught his attention, a "malini314". Out of curiosity, he pinged with a simple "Hi". One because it seemed like SouthIndian ID and secondly, the PI digits. The person on the other side responded with a "Hi", unaware as to how much their lives would be affected due to this simple exchange of "Hi"s. After a brief exchange about their "alternate" details, the correspondence grew slowly through the coming days. From strangers, they had gone to friends who couldn't stay away from the chats even for a day. A simple Hi from the other end was enough to lift spirits at the end of a deary day. Soon enough, "malini314" and "anand_d" removed their on-line masks and came true about their real selves.

Starting with exchange of photos, they broke through the shells of their alternate self to connect on a truly personal level. Dev couldn't help wonder what had happened between them to lead to such trust in the online world. Maybe the world was less cynical those days. On that day, "malini314" became Lekshmi and "malu" became "lechu". A simple step to discovering themselves through each other. While Dev, "once again", dove head first into love, Lekshmi climbed out of her depression. Their pasts were being laid to rest as they wrote a new future for themselves with the digital ink of 21st century. Chats progressed into video calls, which progressed into phone calls and texts. Soon enough, there wasn't a day when these two didn't talk or see each other. You might be wondering why they didn't meet in person till now. A small detail that Dev forgot to mention, Lekshmi was in Banglore where she was posted directly via college placements while he was still in Kozhikode. As months passed, Lekshmi managed to get a transfer back to Kerala and Dev's happiness knew no bounds as he knew this would be the start of exciting times.

On the day, Lekshmi landed in Kerala, she wasn't expecting much since Dev had already declined to come see her at station. But, as is the fate of lovers, Dev couldn't stay put without seeing her in person at least once. So for a brief glimpse of the dusky beauty whose eyes had captured his heart, Dev traveled all the way to her station, reaching there 15 min before Lekshmi's train arrived. As she stepped on to the platform looking for her mom and brother, she wasn't expecting Dev to be around. But one look at that grinning monkey face and her eyes went wide with surprise and joy. All they could do was steal glances at each other while she walked towards the exit with her family and he towards the same train to return home. They wanted to talk, to hold hands, to let each other know how exciting that moment felt, to finally see each other in person. But alas, that was meant for another day. Back at home, Dev messaged her asking about how she felt seeing him in person. She scolded him saying she would have cleaned up a bit if he had told her that he was going to be there. Laughing at her response, Dev replied that it was her that he wanted to see and that it didn't matter how she looked. All he knew was that she looked angelic in her black dress with her wild tresses. After another hour or so of messaging back and forth, they said their good nights and went off to sleep.

The following days, Lekshmi reported to her new office in Kochi while still working on her old project from Banglore. She felt uprooted and, without Dev, she might have slipped back into the depression that still haunted her. Soon enough, she adjusted with the new place and routines while still holding on to Dev. Their long-distance relationship had come a bit more closer but there was still a huge gap. As days progressed, they moved onto serious matters pertaining to their relationship. Both wanted to take it to the next level and the eagerness to be closer. But then, Fate had other plans for the lovebirds as usual. Not every story has a "Happily ever after" ending as Bollywood often tells us.

Thanks for reading through this one. The next half shall follow as soon as I finish it up in my head.

Yaara

Kehte hai ki dil tootne se awaaz nahi karti. Lekin saath reh kar bhi kaun sa ukhaad lena hai. Aashique 2 dekh li aaj, pata nahi kya huwa. Kahin par kuch lag gaya, shayad kuch na ho, lekin kya pata kya huwa. Dard sa uth raha hai, chod kar jaana hai yeh pata chal gaya hai. Shayad kisi aur ke bhalaayi ke liye. Is Jaahaan se nahi, bas uske zindagi se. Puraane rishton ke saath jeena asaan nahi, kuch dost hai kuch yaar hai, lekin dil ke paas aaj tak na koi aa saka hai. Ek deewar kahin hai, jisne har kisiko rok rakha hai. Shayad kabhi na toote jo, shayad kisi aur ko bhi baahar rakhne ke liye hai. Jo bhi hai, apni to lagi huwi hai. Naa khul ke jee sake, na khul na saas le sake.
Andar ki iss ghutan se bhaag raha hoon. Kaam ke siwa kuch soojta nahi, shayad ek wahi rasta jisme dil na toote. Na koi naya rishta, na koi naya bandhan. Bas ek me aur meri tanhaayi. Saale, itna bhi kab se kamina ban gaya hoon, ki sirf apni apni soch raha hoon. Kya pata, shayad isse khatam karne ke baad kuch raahat mile. Shayad aankhonko koi sukoon mile. Abhi ke liye bas itna hi. Agli baar kuch aur alfaz iss nautanki dil se.
This is Jo signing off for now,
Adios

A Novel Nirvana

Lamhon ke ye nazakat to dekho,
Is dard-e-dil mein phir bahaar sa aaya,
Phool aise khile he unke ke liye,
Ki ab hamaare nazaron ko koi aur na bhaaya.

For those who won't be able to decipher the above lines, here's a synopsis of the same. Look at the nuances of time that flows by, turning pain into garden, where each flower buds out for her, for there is none so worthy who could turn my gaze away from her.

Well, this is the 3rd draft for this post and yet I am unable to find words to describe my present feelings. I feel like a total idiot who knows what is it that his heart wants to say but his mind wanders about. Thinking of her face, the way she smiles and those glasses on her nose. Aaah, that's a sight to watch. What I wouldn't give to just stare at that beauty, to let her know what I feel for her. The care that seems to grow with each passing day and the anxiety of her withdrawing if that came to light. Never have I been so confused lately with what I feel and what I think. She's managed to pull out most of the stops that I had planted between her and my heart. I fear only one thing now, that I may be unable to express how much she means to me. As always, this fear of failure is chilling my spine. I wish to stop writing this for this may never see the light of the day, unless I moderate the content.

Just this one thing, she's made me look at the brighter side of life again. I wish that this angel of mine remains with me. Nothing short of a prayer, yet just a simple wish from someone who's besotted with love. As always, these words from Van Helsing, the movie, come to my rescue :
"I have no heart! I feel no love... nor fear... nor joy... nor sorrow! I am... hollow..."
It's time that I leave these words behind and begin a journey, a journey who's destination is an Angel. An "aishwaryam-olla" kutti, who is yet to know the value of her in my eyes.

This is Jo signing off,
Adios for now

Bitter brew of love

Seldom does something change, as does the broken heart,
From the firm and carefree, to lost and careless
A few moments of joy last like a lifetime of pain,
Piercing thru the thin veil of forgetfulness
O fuck thy holier than thou attitude,
For it hurts like nothing else

Lost in the midst of a never-ending grief
The mind wanders along the familiar paths
Grasping for straws that have faded,
For a moment that perished long ago
Even the clock seems tired to tick
When the thoughts of her dance into the mind.

Kaboom, as it goes down without a fight
The pseudo wall of defiance, the hard nut feel
A stream of thoughts erupt in between
Turning the calm into a brewing storm
And out of the storm, comes light on foot
The trampling of words that feel so odd.

Symphonies on Nokia 2600-c

This post is a part of an experimentation on my mobile phone. I wrote this up as notes on my mobile.


Note - 1

Some people think guys are tough and have a strong heart. Let me tell you a story, short and sweet. Some guys are like coconuts, hard on the outside but soft and sensitive on the inside. Guys like this may be hard to spot but easy to hurt.
One such guy, say Rahul (i love the name that's why), is the central character of this story. Rahul's life as of now is a complete mess, know why ? Bcoz someone cracked thru the hard shell and messed up. Wanna know who was this someone, the one person he trusted his heart with, the one with the power to heal his soul. Thinking of how they came to meet seems like a fairy tale. But this fairy tale did happen and it happened right in between the common lives of you and me. How else could you term a meeting of two people, unknown to each other, that left a seed of attachment with one person and that outgrew into the other one's soul. Meher's starting days at work, away from home and at a new place. She knew some out there, and yet confident enough to make a mark. Rahul, around for a few months and still coming to grips with the new feelings inside him. Out of so many people present there, Meher asks him whether she could reach the 3rd floor thru the lift. A question from a cute one, who chose him for the query, makes him feel good. He goes on to help her reach her floor and to show her the way out. Still reeling from the encounter, Rahul manages to hide his grin. But then, a chain of events had been set into motion unknown to both of them. Over the next few months, Rahul tried to befriend her but given his introvert nature that would have been next to impossible. So he did what he did best. Stare at the angel, looking for a hint that she would be interested to be friends with him. Roughly thru the next few months, the peek-a-boo game carried on. Unknown to Rahul, Meher too started to have feelings for him. The game progressed at a slow pace until both of them could hold back no longer. Finally, after months of hesitation Rahul went over to speak to his angel. Well looking thru the other side, Meher was too wanting to speak. An opportunity presented itself in the most unbelievable of ways. Rahul was having lunch at his office pantry and Meher came around for some reason. She came again sensing that he wanted to talk to her. After all, the smiles at each other had worked into their hearts. She waited at the cooler, filling and emptying her bottle. He gobbled up his food to meet his angel. After a quick clean-up, he went by the cooler. Still hesitant to speak, he crossed over. Then with a devil-may-care thought, he turned back and walked up to her. A brief exchange of words was all that happened. Names were exchanged with a certain hope to know more. The next day, Rahul had an official party. On his way out of office, Meher walks straight into him. A brief exchange of words and phone no.s before Meher rushes off to catch her cab while Rahul moves towards the to-be sparkling evening. Riding behind on a team-mate's bike..#


Note - 2

A flurry of msgs during the ride lets them know more about each other while time flashes by. During the party, msgs are still being passed and the two come closer and closer. The torrents of emotion held back suddenly find an outlet. In his joy, Rahul takes a peg or two. Meher is unable to stand it and msgs transform into calls. Rahul talks to her in his not so sober state, describing his pent up feelings. With a promise to call later, he hangs up on her. After a few more hours of enjoyment, Rahul reaches home at 11. As promised, the new lovebird calls her up. The next few hour fly as the two, so engrossed in their tweetings, finish up their balances with lot more to say. The next weeks are spent over chats and calls with the two getting closer and closer. But alas, good things are never meant to last for ever. Meher realises that this is a fool's errand, never to be fulfilled wish. She starts to fear the society's norm and her parents. Unknown to Rahul, she starts to avoid him, ignoring him so that he notes away from her. Little by little, Rahul notices the change in her behaviour while thinking that it would become ok. How could have he known that Meher had already accepted that they could never be one. In the months to come, he moves thru life, unsure of how to take this new turn of events. Finally, Meher breaks thru her shell and tells him to forget her forever. Easier said than done for both of them, Rahul pleads her to change her stand. But the conservative nature of her parents makes her cold. Breaking her own heart against the altar of social norms, she goes away from his life. A few months pass and things seem to be normalising for Rahul. It seemed though that love wasn't done with him. Like a lighting flash, a call from Meher blows away his feeble pack-of-cards heart. She called to say that her marriage had been fixed. What could he say back other than stoically wishing her the best. In the next few months, they start to contact each other and Meher's words make Rahul believe that the situation could be still managed. Little was he aware that, Meher would skittle away his every hope. Finally unable to bear all this, Rahul breaks and he tells her to forget him. But Meher still confused in her heart between the love showered by her would-be's family and the yearning for Rahul weeps before him. He stays firm before her but inwardly a storm brews. How long could he hold back his love? He breaks his own shell and starts msging her again. Thinking that if could get over her, he calls her up like a friend. After a few minutes of chat, disturbed in between by her fiancé's calls, they seem to have a pseudo-break up. In his affection for Meher, Rahul decides to make her hate him. He msgs her saying that all those moments were a farce. Finally after many msgs and hurting her like for-ever, Meher begins to hate Rahul, even the mention of his name gives her tempers. Finally with the knowledge that he's lost Meher for ever, Rahul moves on....#


Note -3

Meher settles down with her husband in B'lore away from Rahul's shadow and reach. Will fate play again with their lives ? It's upto time to decide.#