Hospital thoughts

When the dialysis section is right beside the ICU section, it should feel natural to see a dead body being wheeled out in a stretcher. But nothing beats the sound of silence that suddenly grabs hold of the bustling corridor when it happens. You involuntarily move out of the way and stand still, frozen by the sight, the feeling that someone has lost a loved one again and that you should respect the dead stranger.

Life threw a Covidcation at me and I caught with both hands

Well, it isn't everyday that you get a break/vacation for suffering from an infection. Last month, right before I was supposed to get my 2nd COVID vaccine shot, I caught the actual disease. The irony that getting the 2nd shot might have resulted in the same, but milder, symptoms that I suffered for the first few days is something that comforts me. Just saying, when your relatives have just been back from an hospitalisation, it would be recommended delay visits by 2-3 weeks. But then, if it's really close ones, then fuck logic and let's ignore safety precautions. :D

So, my wife and kid had gone over to her place to spend some time with her parents. As usual, I spend the weekends with them and working from our home for the rest of the time. Nothing unusual this time expect for the fact that my MIL wasn't feeling that good during the weekend. She took a self-quarantine as a safety measure, but it wasn't enough. By the time the results came for all of them, it was clear that they had been bit by the Covid bug. As a precaution, I started a self-quarantine at my place after coming back. By Tuesday, it became obvious that I had been infected and the test results that came in on Friday cemented the fact. :D

And that is how, it began. My own 2 week Covidcation. The first few days were bad, having fever, temperature, cold, nose blocks, all the shit that Covid brings with it. Thankfully, my wife had already contacted some doctors regarding the medication and I started taking them. Let me tell you, it isn't fun having to swallow tablets three times a day when you absolutely hate them. I have an upset stomach pretty much every time I start an antibiotics course. That coupled with the discomfort of being sick and weary just makes it harder to bear. If only we could survive Covid like we do the common cold, with minimal medicine and letting the body take its natural path of cleaning itself.

Now that we have set the baseline for the first week, let's come back to why I still call it a Covidcation, or Covid vacation. So all the time I wasn't feeling good, I had my trusty MCOC, a.k.a. Marvel Contest of Champions, to fall back to for comfort. Suddenly, I had like 10 extra hours a day to do whatever I could, within the humanely possible limits of a Covid patient, and no one to stop me from it. And thus it began, my Covidcation, with a bang, err.. cough. 10+ hours of gaming/watching Vikings/Reddit and Kindle. The joy of kicking back your legs and enjoying everything with your mobile. Alongside, no looking at Gmail/Facebook/Instagram/Slack/LinkedIn. Covid laced heavenly pleasure. On a side note, the boring reality of having to measure your oxygen levels every 4-6 hours and taking medicine so that you don't slip into the danger zone, wasn't that happening though. ;)

So overall, 2 weeks well spent, no running the rat race to finish tasks or view those blasted LinkedIn course suggestions giving FOMO attacks. I did realise that I missed work at bit, those zoom meetings, coding sessions, memes and thrill to fix the latest issue on production and I can't wait to be back at doing what I do best, churning out Python code and having fun with my amazing team from all over the world. I did, however, spend sometime on one of my personal projects over the last few days, but not before I was done with my gaming sessions. Just to get back into the groove before I jump into work.

2 weeks of rest are coming to an end soon. I'll be back to WFH and reserving weekends for my "focussed" gaming sessions. :D

Until next time,

This is Jo signing off.

Huwa main malang

Loose yourself to find the you,

Break free to know what binds you,

Let the music flow within you,

The words will let you know...

The beats come and go,

The heart beats too,

But the mind doesn't want to think,

It wants to be still for a moment...

Let me be free from the chains,

So that I may find my binds.

Let me see the darkness outside,

So that I may find the light inside...

When the old dies, the new rises,

To be free from everything.

The soul waits for you to touch me,

So that I can melt inside you...

Let me become the phoenix,

Let me rise from my ashes.

Let me be lost,

Let me be found forever...

P.S: Watched Malang, wanted to write something, was listening to Malang's songs and being irritated by the fucking ads which came in between.

Live free,

*Jo

Bored as hell, so what to do???

And so I sit in the lobby of "MNC" company waiting for my round of interview. It seems that I have ticked off a few wrong ones in the initial stages itself. Wearing jeans to the interview. Not bringing my resume since the photostat shop was not yet open. Some of the things have me ticked off too. The formal wear. The long list of candidates for the position. The totally boring visitors lobby.
Waiting, waiting and waiting. As for the first impression, I wanted to run away from the entrance itself, given the fucking dress code. But let's see if the interview is good enough. Wouldn't like to join especially if there is Java involved. I absolutely, without an inch of remorse, detest the language. It's not for people like me, the lazy ones who would go straight to work rather than create loads and loads of code just because the language says so. I'm so anti-pattern at times that I can't believe I have been writing okey-dokey code in Python for the last 5+ years.
Hopefully, this shouldn't take much time as I have hardly taken a look or prepared to a good extent, given that there are other "priorities" as of now. *wink*. Speaking of which, I was not going to announce before March start. There was supposedly to be a post regarding that but then, who the fuck cares about timing or planning. Yours truly is getting hitched soon. :D
It might come off as sudden, given how I wasn't ready to get hitched all these years and all of a sudden, boom. 2017 has brought lovely surprises with it. Got placed in an awesome product company, getting ready for next phase, looking forward to more surprises. *wink wink* Speaking of which, I am still stuck in this fucking lobby, waiting for my call which I suppose wouldn't come even after I finish this post.
Bored, sleepy and getting hungry as times passes.

This is Jo,
Signing off for now.

The colds of December

This December in Mumbai, this not so cold days here. I'm lost without reason. I look forward to the days that wouldn't be so deary. To the days, where my inner child is happy. To the days, where I code again out of passion. To the days, where I look forward to going to office. To the days, where I ride again. To the days, when weekends are to enjoy and not being stuck in office. To the days, where my heart fills with joy of writing like this.

A hope that I hold inside me that there will be a silver lining at the end of these cloudy days.

Revisiting an old space

Ajeeb hai ye daastan,

Na jaane kahan le jaaye ye tumhe,

Kaunsa shehar mil jaaye na jaane,

Anjaane ban jaate hai dost,

Aur dost anjaane,

Lamhe kuch guzarish karte hai,

Ki iss pal ko lafzon mein taraash loon,

Yaad aaye ye pal phir kabhi to,

Honto par ek muskurahat bhi aaye.

It is said, nothing happens by chance. Otherwise, why would this post happen and that too after such a long time. Me sitting in office, watching Suits last episode of Season 5 and finishing off some tasks. No connection to Blogger as of such, nothing to make me think of writing off a post. Yet, there comes a call to one of my sales colleague. A friend wants to integrate a payment gateway to her Blogger account. Had to take a look at my blog to let her know if it would be possible. Seemed like it might be, but then it would have been just a Paypal link, rather than a full blown cart which could let her sell her wares.

And then, it happens. My colleague, Rick, from the front-end section had to pitch in his views. Thankfully, it was a good thing because we were able to give a better informed suggestion this time. Seems like you might have to get a premium version of Blogger to integrate a cart like stuff. However, I didn't research much due to limited time. And the last episode is still waiting to be finished along with my task.

So until next time, this is Jo signing off.

Adios

Cupid Yahoo

When reality becomes stranger than fiction and life seems like a movie, that's when you know that something grand has been set in motion.

Dev never knew that the stranger he was going to befriend via Yahoo chat would turn his life upside down. As per routine, he logged in and started searching for ids to chat with. One of the IDs in the chat room caught his attention, a "malini314". Out of curiosity, he pinged with a simple "Hi". One because it seemed like SouthIndian ID and secondly, the PI digits. The person on the other side responded with a "Hi", unaware as to how much their lives would be affected due to this simple exchange of "Hi"s. After a brief exchange about their "alternate" details, the correspondence grew slowly through the coming days. From strangers, they had gone to friends who couldn't stay away from the chats even for a day. A simple Hi from the other end was enough to lift spirits at the end of a deary day. Soon enough, "malini314" and "anand_d" removed their on-line masks and came true about their real selves.

Starting with exchange of photos, they broke through the shells of their alternate self to connect on a truly personal level. Dev couldn't help wonder what had happened between them to lead to such trust in the online world. Maybe the world was less cynical those days. On that day, "malini314" became Lekshmi and "malu" became "lechu". A simple step to discovering themselves through each other. While Dev, "once again", dove head first into love, Lekshmi climbed out of her depression. Their pasts were being laid to rest as they wrote a new future for themselves with the digital ink of 21st century. Chats progressed into video calls, which progressed into phone calls and texts. Soon enough, there wasn't a day when these two didn't talk or see each other. You might be wondering why they didn't meet in person till now. A small detail that Dev forgot to mention, Lekshmi was in Banglore where she was posted directly via college placements while he was still in Kozhikode. As months passed, Lekshmi managed to get a transfer back to Kerala and Dev's happiness knew no bounds as he knew this would be the start of exciting times.

On the day, Lekshmi landed in Kerala, she wasn't expecting much since Dev had already declined to come see her at station. But, as is the fate of lovers, Dev couldn't stay put without seeing her in person at least once. So for a brief glimpse of the dusky beauty whose eyes had captured his heart, Dev traveled all the way to her station, reaching there 15 min before Lekshmi's train arrived. As she stepped on to the platform looking for her mom and brother, she wasn't expecting Dev to be around. But one look at that grinning monkey face and her eyes went wide with surprise and joy. All they could do was steal glances at each other while she walked towards the exit with her family and he towards the same train to return home. They wanted to talk, to hold hands, to let each other know how exciting that moment felt, to finally see each other in person. But alas, that was meant for another day. Back at home, Dev messaged her asking about how she felt seeing him in person. She scolded him saying she would have cleaned up a bit if he had told her that he was going to be there. Laughing at her response, Dev replied that it was her that he wanted to see and that it didn't matter how she looked. All he knew was that she looked angelic in her black dress with her wild tresses. After another hour or so of messaging back and forth, they said their good nights and went off to sleep.

The following days, Lekshmi reported to her new office in Kochi while still working on her old project from Banglore. She felt uprooted and, without Dev, she might have slipped back into the depression that still haunted her. Soon enough, she adjusted with the new place and routines while still holding on to Dev. Their long-distance relationship had come a bit more closer but there was still a huge gap. As days progressed, they moved onto serious matters pertaining to their relationship. Both wanted to take it to the next level and the eagerness to be closer. But then, Fate had other plans for the lovebirds as usual. Not every story has a "Happily ever after" ending as Bollywood often tells us.

Thanks for reading through this one. The next half shall follow as soon as I finish it up in my head.

How I setup my Internet estate

Hello, hello...

Anyone out there waiting for this post ? Aah.

Starting a fresh from today, "again". Phew, my site is finally up, for those who didn't know, it can be found @ jrajan.in. It was a royal pain in the ass to finally find a way to mask the fact that my site is hosted on one of the free platforms, given the fact that I'm miserly about spending money on an AWS micro-instance.
So currently, my site has jumped from being hosted on Google's App Engine platform, to Bitbucket pages, which sadly doesn't allow you to redirect custom domains before finally settling on the super easy-to-setup Github pages.

By which, let's talk a bit about setting up a simple site for yourself. A few steps that can help you out, not necessarily in the order below. This is how I started it off.

Buy a domain for yourself.

My options were limited to either jojurajan. or jrajan.. I went for jrajan.in since it needs lesser keystrokes. Mine was brought at BigRock, since ".in" domains are sold cheaply. Other options include, but are not limited to, Enom, Name.com or GoDaddy. Since this is going to be your identity on the web, I would suggest buying it for 10 years, since that seems to be the maximum time allowed for one-time domain registration.

Choose a template.

I went for a simple minimalistic Bootstrap template for an SPA(single page application). SPA, in simple terms, means your whole site will be in one page and different sections can be shown or hidden, when required, based on your preferences. I chose my template from HTML5UP, even though with limited variety, which suited my taste. There are many other places where you can get Bootstrap themes, such as Bootstrap Zero, Start Bootstrap or Bootswatch to name a few. Choose one that suits your taste and download the html files to your machine. In case, your tastes change in future, no worries, you can switch to another theme, albeit with small modifications that can be done without breaking much sweat.

Update your info.

Now that you have chosen a theme, it's time to add your information into it. For my development work, I use Sublime Text which is quite a nice editor, with a few plugins which make it super-friendly. Or you could use the default editors which come pre-installed with the OS such as Notepad or Gedit.

Coming back to adding your info, there will be an index.html file in the theme that you just downloaded. First open it in the browser to see what it looks like by default. At this stage, I would suggest you create another copy of the index.html file. This would be our backup copy, in case you modify something and it goes horribly wrong. After that is done, now search for the words you want to replace in the index.html, for e.g. Jane Doe is what HTML5UP themes usually use for the user's name, i.e mine or your name. Replace that with your and save the file. Now click on the Refresh button in the browser to see your updated web page. Remember, you should be updating the original index.html, and not the backup copy. ;)

Once you get a hang of it, I would suggest that you try and add a new section, if you want, for yourself.

Make it live.

 

This is one phase that you should do real carefully. I had updated my site, as said earlier, in Google App Engine, then in Bitbucket and finally Github pages. So let's start with how we could setup the site using Github pages. For that, first of all you need to sign up for a Github account. The technical details can be found in their documentation, which I would say is quite awesome even for first-timers. After that, you need to create a repository like .github.io in your Github account. You should replace with your Github username account, e.g mine is jojurajan.github.io. A repository, or repo, is like a folder where you can add files, images, documents and many other things. In our case, the repo keeps an internal record of which files were in that folder at a given time, something like a backup feature. We don't need to go that deep for now.

Creating a copy of that repo in your machine is called "cloning a repo", which is real simple if you follow the steps given in the documentation. After the local repo is ready, move all the files that you just modified to that folder. You should copy all the files and folders from the folder in which your index.html file is present. Add a new file 'CNAME', all capital without any extension with your index.html file. Add your domain name to that file, e.g. the file in my repo contains one single line jrajan.in, which is my domain. Now you need to make sure that the "repo", a.k.a folder named .github.io in Github also has these files. For that, you need to use the git push command which is also documented in the Github pages.

Once you see all the folders in your online repo, load your website by going to http://.github.io, e.g mine goes like http://jojurajan.github.io . If all is good, you should be able to see the same page that you saw in the browser after updating your index.html file.

Connect the dots.

Now that your site is up, we need to link your domain to your site. It goes like this, you have an address and your house is also ready. But for the letters to reach your house, the postman must know that for your address, this is the house. We are going to do the same thing now. First of all, you need to add an I.P address for your domain. Since your site is at the github.io pages, you should add their IP address as for your domain too. You need to add an "A Record" in your DNS records which will tell the browser, i.e. postman, that if someone tries to load your site, it should look at that address. The IPs to be added are 192.30.252.153 and 192.30.252.154. You can find more details here. Once that is done, you need to add "CNAME Record" which will point the domain name, i.e jrajan.in, to the github page, i.e jojurajan.github,io. More details can found in this one. Once you set these records correctly, you should be able to see your domain being shown correctly in around 1~2 hours, because that is the minimum time it usually takes pass along the changes. It would be better if you sleep and come back the next day to see whether the domain and pages have been linked properly.

Phew, that is one long post but I think it might be worth for at least someone, if not just me. In case, you have issues or doubts with these please let me know thru the comments.

Corrections and updates are also welcome, since I might have missed a few things in the making.

Disclaimer: The author is a part of an offshore team that works for one of the subsidiaries of Enom.

Phir ek baar

Yunhi chalti jaa rahi hai zindagi,
Na pata manzil ka aur na nishaan raste ki,
Dil mein kuch lamhe liye chal rahe hain,
Kisi ki bas ab yaadein liye chal rahe hain,

Muskaan mein phir se ek dard si ghul gayi,
Khushi par kisi ki phir se nazar lag gayi,
Ashk na phir se aaye ye ibadat reh gayi,
Aur unke saath rahe kushi ye dua bhi aa gayi

Chalo, phir se jeene ki koi wajaah dhoond le,
Phir kisi daud ki raftar mein doob le,
Junoon si koi khwaahish dil mein bhar le,
Aur jeeye ja, mere yaar, tu bas jeeye jaa...

Down the crap Lane

Huh, is this what I signed up for when I relocated to Ernakulam ? Don't think so, but one thing's for sure. Frustration seems to be creeping in somehow. Can't place my finger on the exact cause, but yes, it's coming on real fast. Can feel it with my mood changes, with those eccentric out of blue thoughts on modesty, feeling lost, aimless and what not.

Crap, this post is gonna suck big time. Never thought my comeback post would be so full of shit. Was hoping for a small short story or atleast one filled with gratefulness to one of my fellow beings. Something that would scatter a bit of positive thoughts into this bleak consumerist world that we are a part of. Not saying all are, but yes, to certain extent, it is.

BTW, my new fav singer seems to Ayushmaan, Dude's got a nice voice, along with the lyrics. Can't get enough of Nautenki Saala. Anyways, time to cut this crap post short and head back to coding. You see, I'm still in office. ;)

This is Jo signing off,
Adios

Yaara

Kehte hai ki dil tootne se awaaz nahi karti. Lekin saath reh kar bhi kaun sa ukhaad lena hai. Aashique 2 dekh li aaj, pata nahi kya huwa. Kahin par kuch lag gaya, shayad kuch na ho, lekin kya pata kya huwa. Dard sa uth raha hai, chod kar jaana hai yeh pata chal gaya hai. Shayad kisi aur ke bhalaayi ke liye. Is Jaahaan se nahi, bas uske zindagi se. Puraane rishton ke saath jeena asaan nahi, kuch dost hai kuch yaar hai, lekin dil ke paas aaj tak na koi aa saka hai. Ek deewar kahin hai, jisne har kisiko rok rakha hai. Shayad kabhi na toote jo, shayad kisi aur ko bhi baahar rakhne ke liye hai. Jo bhi hai, apni to lagi huwi hai. Naa khul ke jee sake, na khul na saas le sake.
Andar ki iss ghutan se bhaag raha hoon. Kaam ke siwa kuch soojta nahi, shayad ek wahi rasta jisme dil na toote. Na koi naya rishta, na koi naya bandhan. Bas ek me aur meri tanhaayi. Saale, itna bhi kab se kamina ban gaya hoon, ki sirf apni apni soch raha hoon. Kya pata, shayad isse khatam karne ke baad kuch raahat mile. Shayad aankhonko koi sukoon mile. Abhi ke liye bas itna hi. Agli baar kuch aur alfaz iss nautanki dil se.
This is Jo signing off for now,
Adios

A post of a post

Countless drafts on my mobile, a few hundred scribbles on the laptop and tens of movies. Finally, I think, a post that would see light,i.e. night light. Weekends have always been happening for the last few months. A trip for a marriage, a late night movie with myself, walking the streets of Trivandrum at 1:30 in the night. A few furious hours of "creative" coding, finishing off the 4th season of Dexter, trying and trying again to turn over a new leaf, and the list goes on and on and on... Oh ya, forgot a wee bit thing, donated blood after a almost a year. FYI, I'm A- and available for donation, as for now out of action till 7/09/13.

Coming back to the catalyst for the post, I watched ABCD today. No, it is not the Hindi one. This one's pure mallu even thought the title may mislead. It's American Born Confused Desi, with Dulqur back in action. Last time it was Ustad Hotel. If you would pardon the liberty that I would take with interpreting the message, hold on, why should I ask your pardon. My blog, my post, my damn words, who gives a f&^% on what you might think after reading this.

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READING
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I would say the movie is a sarcastic view on how the media, the government and the general public on today's Kerala. It's sugar-coated through a confused NRI's eyes but the visual is there for everyone to see, if you bloody damn give a moment's f%%$ about it. Naah, using f&*^ doesn't make me sound cool. It's just a way of saying this is MINE. At least, on the outer side. Technically, I allow Google rights over this digital copy of my words once it is posted to blogger.com. Oh, one more thing, every bloody thing that you think is coming for free is never free. There is always a catch, something that may not be obvious now but will clear out as time progresses. Coming back to the movie, it's an entertainer albeit a bit long if you think 2:45 is long. Another thing, Dulqur is a rising star with the right set of thoughts in his head. He's chosen carefully, tries something new, an American accent in this one. But then, there is this thing about him, being always super-cool with low waists and hair styles. Not that he doesn't pull it off nicely. Just saying, it's getting repetitive. Oh gosh, 2 movies with a similar wardrobe and I'm saying it's repetitive. Holy Shit, when did I start caring about what someone wears or not wears. ;)

Anyways, seems like I'm getting back to being the old me. Cocky, Abusive, Foolish, Creative, Bullshitter. Welcome back Jo, it's been long since we missed you. A round of applause for the young dashing, bullshitting, piece of Piscean crap who is still as cocky as the one who entered QBurst in an August of 2009.

This is Jo signing off,
Adios

Into Feb again

It seems like as times goes by, the interval between my posts keeps on increasing. Anyways, it feels good to be writing again. Life has moved on quite a brisk pace. I don't even remember the last time I blogged, need to check it online for now. Leaving that aside, Life is again stuck in a mechanical circle of work-home-work. It had been quite some time since I did something other than the usual eat-sleep-code routine. Thankfully, there was Vishwaroopam. Went with Sundar, Binu, Ash, Nyzam bhai and Nithin, our asst. director. Special thanks to Nits, since he was the one who got us all tickets inspite on the rush at the cinema complex. Well speaking of the complex, our minister, Ganesh Kumar, seems to have done quite a good job at rebuilding the old Kairali-Sree theatres into Kairali, Sree and Nila. The seating is good and the feel is also nice, albeit the cost of tickets is a bit on the higher end. But 80 bucks for watching a movie in a comfortable seat is worth it. Anyways, back to the movie. It's quite good on the technical side, the story keeps you engrossed, except for may be a few moments during the Afghanistan scenes, which seemed like dragging on a bit. Other than that, it seems quite worthy of the money. No comments on the controversy. Simply said, I would like to quote my self on this. "This is a case of religious constipation". How this quote is to be deciphered is upto you.

Other than that, we had a small GDG(Google Developer Group) meeting, the launch of the Trivandrum chapter in Jan. Yours sincerly had to present a topic before the audience and as usual, came up with a lot of bullshitting and some info. For those who know, you could rewind back to the moments when I bullshitted my way out during my seminar on "Blackberry". Anyways, got a cool GDG T-shirt, had a good lunch and learnt a few things about GDG, App Engine, App Scripts and so on. Well that was back in the start of Jan. By the end of Jan, it was again "Romans" the movie with Sundar. Oh, yes. There was the HacknightV2.0, which Adheesh and me contested to have some Pizzas and spend time in office AC. Thankfully, learnt something about Twitter bootstrap and Jinja templates.

Back to Feb, it's been monotonous till now, save Vishwaroopam. Hoping for a few exciting weeks at least in this month.


This is Jo signing off for now,


Adios

Things that made me.

As the title says, this post is an introspection into what makes me be so me, so different, so cranked up, so wild and unpredictable. Well here it goes.

My seemingly wild ways. along with my devil-may-care attitude stems from the fact that I had Sumit, a.k.a Appu as one of my best friends. The guy's one hell of a thick-skinned, ultra-cool guy who's a real cool dude to hang out with. He's got the wildest dressing sense, in fact, you could almost see him in shorts with a leather jacket in a freezing Kolkata winter. Yet, he wouldn't give a shit as what you think about his attire. He used to grow long hair before "Tere Naam" was released. had studs in his ear while he was still in school, i think in 7th or 8th. The guy could literally wear a flaming yellow shirt coupled with a dark short, have his hair colored all brown and yet chat around with people as if it were his 2nd skin. Not that I could ever do this on my own, but yes I have come close to emulating him, but on dance stages for those who have seen me. ;)

Next in line is my writing bug. This is something that is a gift from Mrs. Manjula Banerjee, Manjula Ma'am as we all called her, way back in my 5th or 6th. There was this chapter called "The Tiger and the Porcupine" and we were supposed to write down the answers for the questions at the end of the chapter. Speaking of "Porcupine", I still remember how my hair used to stand like porcupine quills after my monthly haircut, shining from the oil that Mom used to pour on my head before the bath. Anyways, we had to prepare answers for the questions by the time the lesson was to be over, i.e go over the lesson the night before, write down the answers in a separate rough book and then recite them in class once the lesson was over. So I had this answer written down for all the questions in the chapter, actually plagiarized them from the guide book. But the thing was that I wrote them down in my English. 3 out 7 answers chosen were mine, not a mean achievement given the fact that around half the class prepared answers. That's when it finally struck that I could also write, maybe plagiarized stuff but yes write them in my own words. Thus was born the writer that you see...

My reading habit stems from the fact that my Mom used to be manager at one of the book publishing agencies in Kolkata. She used to bring all kinds of novels, books, magazines from office for me to read and oh boy, wasn't it a jolly time for me. To see Mom bring in books ranging from pure philosophy to political satires was a joy in itself. I have been exposed to reading Adult stories long before I read "The Tempest". Now don't say that Shakespeare's play wasn't adult in its content or that "Macbeth" or "Merchant of Venice" or even "Romeo and Juliet" were adult in content. The preface to each of the plays had a breif description regarding the symbolism in the words. People should actually read the Prologue and Preface of any book. It gives insight to what the book might be about or the idea that the author to pen it down. Anyways, Thanks to Mom and Dad, I could read all that I want even during the exams provided I finished up my lessons before that. "Reader's Digest" was a ever present member in our household, I think there may be copies of old editions lying inside the bottom shelf of the showcase at home. Another thing that I would like to share, I got "Lady Chatterly's Lover" as a prize for scoring high marks in Maths in my 10th. For those who haven't heard of this book, please google it up(NSFW).

My love of lines of code come from Mrs. J Dasgupta's classes. She was a absolute beauty, 'sigh', miss her classes, hearing her voices and those class definitions of C++. I wouldn't say she was the best teacher for C++, but yes it was her class and those problems that she used make us do that had me hooked to writing code. Different types of problems, simple to solve and yet fun to figure out the way to solve it. Oh yes, it was fun trying print patterns using for loops, even variations from the original problem. That problem could be solved within 15 mins but the variations to the actual patterns was what had me spend evenings in the company of the for loop. Then B.Tech let my code dreams catch flight while it slowly killed the writer in me. Speaking of which, the fact that I could not pursue MassCom was one of the primary reasons I didn't give much of a serious thought to B.Tech.

The aloofness to pursuing perfection comes from the fact that I walked in company of giants all my academic life. Compared to them, I am but an insignificant speck. Thanks to them, I have gained so much both experience and mental strength. I know that I can be happy coming second, let others use my ideas. That is because the ones that really matter, would have already thought of a thousand other ways. It lets me concentrate on finding joy within lines of code and prose rather than in exaltation of my achievements.

Next in case study of Jo comes the craze for web and Python. This is one thing I would be ever grateful to Jazz. He was the one who thought it would be great to do our final project in Python instead of Java or C++. Thanks to him, I fell in love with Python. Javascript and HTML were thrust upon me for the IT lab in 6th semester. Well, Javascript and I go further than just lab, I am used to writing prototype scripts or designs in JS, rather than any other language, not that I am proficient in it.

I should be stopping this post for now, since it is already late and I need to go to office tomorrow, oopsi today.
This is Jo signing off,
Adios

Weekends - Nth time

The weekend is almost over and the month of July has begun. Friday is the usual fare, go to office late, get out early for a first day, first show movie else work late till it's time to close the shutters. :D This weekend, it was time for a movie. Saw Ustad Hotel and must say it was worth watching it after buying the tickets in black. bought 55 ticket for 75 and still felt good at the end of it. Nothing moves me like food, love and acts of kindness and this movie has it all. Was actually hoping to catch it again tonite, but alas, seems like I was to write down this post instead of watching the film. Anyways, I had never expected Dulqur, or is it Dulqar, never mind, to be this restrained. This is his 2nd film, I haven't yet seen Second Show, will download hopefully or get it from somewhere. Anyways, he's got talent and the guy's got the looks too. I am hoping to get a beard like his sometime soon. But not until the end of August hopefully as, for the last and final time, I am growing my hair for a ponytail and this time, taunts can go to hell.. :P
Back to the post, ya the movie is a must watch for all. That was Friday evening. Mukesh dropped me at GPO after the movie and then the walk back home. For those who still are unware, I had a house shifting from Kani to Statue. Currently, got a place as a PG. The food is simply awesome and the room is quite nice. Hopefully should upload photos once I am able to clean it up. :P Anyways, came back, had a dinner and went to sleep after a small session on the Messenger. I was hoping to roll that night on MW, but was too tired and sleepy to drive properly. Why risk a 2nd place with Sharmaji when I could catch up some other day. Speaking of Sharmaji, installed a new software called GameRanger, let's you play online multiplayer games for the cracked ones too. Seems okay till now as the sessions were fine when I initially tested it with Sharmaji. So, it's back to MW after quite a long time and my fingers are still rusty at the controls. Need to practise A LOT before I can take on the new, improved version of Sharmaji. :P Anyhow, zooming back to Saturday, got up late as usual, 10:30 I think. I was woken up by persistant knocks on my door, as the breakfast was ready. Even then, caught a few more minutes of sleep before I had breakfast. Got ready to for travelling to Mom's place. Ammachi's been keeping a bit sick over these days. Hopefully, it isn't that serious. Seems like I may have to go to church for lighting a few candles for her sake. Anyways, given the lazy me and the general apathy towards religious duty, that isn't gonna happen any time soon. So by the time I was ready to leave, it was already 1:30 I think. 1:30, for someone who had breakfast by 11:30.. Pretty damn slow these days. Luck has its own way, for Mukesh was around, he was on his way to a friend's office. The guy's a gem and he dropped me till Ayurveda college after warning that it would be impossible to got towards PMG as there was some trouble near Statue. Anyways, crossed over and walked till Thampanoor bus stand. God knows how long it has been since I last caught a bus from there for going home. Thankfully, no more waiting at PMG for catching the bus. Ouch, that hurts.. Those blaady memories.. Ya, another thing, I am hoping to let go the past strings and let the future surprise me. No more bringing up the past. I have made peace with it and that should be the last of it.
Anyways, journey home was a bliss. Got a seat soon enough and even had quite a good time reading thru Narnia stories. One thing about bus travel is that, no matter if I sit or stand, I feel damn sleepy when I get into one. No matter how much I may have slept before that moment. Speaking of which, just had a yawn. Time to go to sleep, but first let's finish this up and watch a few videos from FB. ;) Speaking of travel, it felt really good to be on the bus again, felt younger, without care and the wind in the hair. Have to plan some trips to places. This is gotta be the adrenaline shots that I have been craving for some time now. To cut the long story short, felt real good to travel and had to spend some time sleeping on the front steps of the house too. Ammachi was out for a Kudumbaprathana and I wasn't keen on going to my uncle's place. So used the bag as a pillow and slept there for an hour so. Made me remember my childhood, when mom used to sit there and I kept my head on her lap. Alas, if I ask her to sit like that now, she's gonna pinch off some skin so that the idea doesn't strke me again. :P So, waited, rather slept there till Ammachi came back. After she came, there was vada in her hand. Just like my sweet "Muthuki thalla", to bring back something for me to eat. Had the vada while she prepared lunch for me at 6:30 in the evening. :D. Had lunch, a bit of chit chat after which I fell asleep reading thru Narnia on my mob. Woke up at 9:30 for dinner, that too because ammachi had started to pinch me after calling my name for some time. Had dinner and then a quick sleep. In between, one of the Idiots msged asking me the full-form of KFC, something from one of my FB posts. Come Sunday, got up late again, didn't go to church and washed my clothes instead. In between watched Charlie's Angels, The Golden Compass, Bad Boys, The Core and one more from the morning till I left for Trivandrum. Reached Trivandrum by 8, caught rain in between the journey and then back to home. Made my way to Sundar's place. It was his perunal toaday, birthday according to Malayalam calendar, for those who don't know. Had some payasam and then made a dash for Kripa. Couldn't get two tickets as the queue was too long. Somehow Sundar managed a ticket while I had to walk back alone. Anyways, all's well that ends well. Got time to write this, now that's worth a movie. :D Atleast, something for you people to read.. ;)
This is Jo signing off,
Adios

Blank

It's been a long time since I last posted. These past months have just whizzed by and I am still catching up with the changes. Well, topmost on the list, we have finally moved out of Kanimangalam. 4 years of enjoyment, happiness, friendship, love, grief, tension and what not.. Still remember the Paalukachu at Kanimangalam. Those times with the first 7 of Kani, Thomichan, Sakhav, Achar, Thampi, Jasim, Sheik and Sasi. Still remember, Suma and Pretty getting the salted drinks. Those chocolates as gift. Finally the photo session on the balcony. Sigh... Then the Mafia wars addiction, thanks to KK sir's Docomo stick. The exams, and finally end of 5 years of B.Tech life. The first job, QBurst.. The interview with Ansarji, and thrill of getting thru. Telling him that I would like to the next day instead of that day itself, because I had to celebrate the occasion. Don't know what made me say so that day. Pagalpanti.
Then the next 1.5 years as QA in the Clearspring team. The foodings, the outing, the release tensions. Long working hours before the day of release. Testing out on test, uat and prod. Then, shifting of Densil bhai to Kochi, me shifting to Forum support helping out Angel, then Angel moving to Infy while I switch to Python development. Those times in the PrivateFly cabin, then to the Plusnet cabin. The Tea team. In between, Meher and then someone else. Finally the shift to Vazhuthacad and so on till now...
Now, it's almost a week since the shift to Statue. New surroundings, coming in terms with the loss of Kanimangalam. Finding my feet, literally. Lots of plans for future. High expectations from myself. Don't know if this will work out or not. Hoping for the best. So that wraps up a small synopsis of Kani and afterwards.. Now to the present :P
The internal cricket tournament for QBurst was held this weekend. Went there as a reserve and had to get down in the field as the team strength was low. Too lazy to describe the tournament. For those interested in stats, have a look at http://2012.crikees.com. The rest can continue reading this post. Anyways, two days of playing took a toll on my body. A slight pain still remains on the back as a result of my lethargic fielding and batting. No, I don't bowl even though I am listed as a Bowler in the team description. Also, slept for quite a long time on both days as a result of the tiredness. Unlike the usual weekends, where I keep chatting on Y! messenger and keep reading/liking posts on FB. Hopefully, the body should be back to normal within 2~3 days and then the usually running around. The Avengers is back in Trivandrum theatres, this time in Sree Padamnabha, thanks to the requests posted on their FB wall. I think I should be going for it some time soon. Anyways, who knows what the future holds. Thinking of the future, my Bhootni may land in Trivandrum as a part of her job searching and parents' plan to settle down here in Trivandrum. Hopefully, I should be able to run off to Noida or Hyderabad, once this helluva degree is over, before they actually land here. That way, I am still free of settling down here while I also get to roam India. Plans, plans and plans... Everything is there in the mind, a vague mishmash of ideas, thoughts and dreams. Sigh...
Anyways, back to Statue. Living here as a PG, homely food, lavish single room, easy access to city. Even a Bar opposite the front gate, when I have finally left drinking. :P Hey Bhagwan, vichitre hai teri leela.. Sadly, the days are boring and so I usually look forward to Mondays now, OMG I just wrote the impossible.. I used to hate Mondays, even have a Tee questioning why Monday couldn't be returned back. :D Feeling sleepy for now and so stopping this post...
Until next time..
This is Jo signing off,
Adios

Start of the 26th

25 years of a lifetime, gone within the blink of an eye. Here I stand, feeling the weight of 26th year and with joy in my heart. A really surprizing start, I must say. A least expected token of love/respect from my roomies adn that makes the feeling special. Let's stop beating around the bush and start the entry. :D
Coming back late after work is the current obession for me. I have started to work late hours at office, just to keep count of "8 hours of actual work". That's just my justification for the process. Actually, there's a slight crunch in the deadlines, have been the laziest all through this year. Maybe, it's the excitement of celebrating the New Year with family and now the looming location change. We'll be moving to Vazthacaud, the "corporate headquarters" of QBurst Technologies, within a few weeks for continuing work on my current project. Seems like my laziness has passed on to my teammates, or is it me alone ? Not sure as to if I am the only one responsible for this deportation. Anyhow, leaving that behind for now. Will come back to discussing the pros and cons of moving on some other post, some other day. So I come back late on 23rd, around 11 PM, and least expecting anyone to remember my birthday. So after some freshening up, I sit on my lap to watch some movie. Made Binu copy up 2 Telugu films to watch, and they were so boring that I had to stop after 5 mins. Anyways, started watching some English movie as an antidote.
At 00:00 on 24th, the idiots in room wish me and bring in this

well, at least they could have not written my age on it. The icing was tictac tablets, courtesy Shekhar's imagination. Anyways, the cake and the tablets felt nice. Having the jab of cool mint in my mouth while the taste of plum lingers on, heavenly to say the least. The cake was cut and distributed for eating. Regarding the bumps, they postponed it till morning since not all of us were awake then. The good thing was, they forgot about it in the morning. :D
Early morning rise was impossible since I slept around 1. Yash called up at 1:05 and I was so fast asleep that I didn't hear the ring. Anyways, got up late at 7:30 and then the mad rush for the cab. Frankly, I should have called up "Idiot" to hold the cab up for me. But then, mind doesn't figure out the way until it is too late. So I miss the cab, now that's an awesome start to the new year, and so thought of paying a visit to my dearest BRO. Made my way to the Spencer's church and spent a few mins conversing with BRO, actually a one-way prayer for the things that I got and would be getting. Then, breakfast at Aruna's. Seems like the hotel has special place in my plan of things. Right from the days in college to the 1st day of the 26th year ;). After breakfast, a walk to PMG and then a bus cum auto to office. A few birthday messages in between, and oh, forgot to write. It was Mom's call that woke me up at 7:30. A wish for her dear nikkamma son and then over to Pop's for his share of wishes. What happened between me and Pop's is still hazy, however this was the first time that we were having an uneasy conversation on phone. God knows, what happened ? Must be the news that Sis cleared her 7th semester with 7.18 GPA. My dear Bhootni seems to be rocking in Bhilai. She's on the way to clear her degree before her Nikkamma brother does it. As if I cared about that, even though Mom and Dad do. Speaking of which, I didn't get through the 7th sem. Results came out a few days back, didn't have the courage to call Mom and say that I failed again. They still expect their son to perform like he did in his 10th and 12th. Leaving that academic crap behind, moving on to the office.
Reached before 9:30, I think. Got greeted by slaps on my back from the cabin mates and then the handshakes, in that order. Went out to fill up the water bottle. I get too damn thirsty sitting in that AC full time. On the way back, I am greeted again with hits, it's with bottles this time from my "Tea team". Came back to seat and started working, albeit for a short time. Well, how can someone be expected to work when it rains slaps on the back from time to time. The sample vediketts were just an aberration, something worse was in store for the evening.
I must say, this was the most surprizing birthday that I have ever celebrated. The "Tea Team" had already planned a cake facial, me being the unknowing victim. I was expecting a cake facial from my cabin mates, at the most. They called up on the pretext of having tea in the pantry. A little late by our usual timing but then better late than never. There was the cake waiting for me, to be cut, to be smeared and to plastered over my whole face. Well, cake facials can be borne without much hassle but what do I say about those birthday bumps. My back was sore with slaps and kicks by the time I was ready for cutting the cake. That too, this was only the 1st and there was another waiting for me after that. So after I cut the cake, instead of getting my lips onto it, I had my whole face touching the cake. aaah, the feel of icing on the face and eyes. Well the idiots even tried cramming it up my ears and neck and they were successful in that too. :P. A few clicks and then off to the wash room for the clean up. Had to spend around 15 mins just to get the cake out of my system. Back to office, like a wet cat with the hair still having the feel of icing on it. Thankffully, someone had turned off the AC and so I didn't have to shiver much. Next thing I knew was being dragged back to pantry for the 2nd edition of cake facial, this time my cabin mates. Thankfully, the celebrations have mellowed down.
Last time, I was manhandled by half the office guys. I was literally carried to the pantry back then. All the while being at the recieving end of the bumps. Anyways, this time the bumps were lesser but still painful for my now-fluffed-up bums. After that, the cake was cut. What was written on top of the cakes is out of bounds to be written here since that would take another round of posts to explain. :P. Anyways, the next facial was completed, harsher and more complete than the earlier one. This one took me around half-an-hour to clear up but thankfully, it was the last. Back to office and then a quick work to finish up a pending task. Not that it was completed by the time it was for me to leave. Anyways, pleaded JK to complete it for me while I ran for the cab, again. This time however, I could catch it. How I reached so early before time is anybody's guess because I was home by 7:20. Next in line was a treat for my roomies. Had to wait for Binu to reach back after office. The bugger had to drop in at his former office for something. So he had us waiting till 9 before we decided to make the move to Zamzam. Reached there, but not soon enough because the place was all choc-a-block with people. So had to settle for Noor Mahal instead. Binu reached by the time we were in front of the hotel. Now that's timing :D.
Dinner was a long affair lasting around an hour, thanx to the slow service there. Had some fun looking at the beauties in there, most of them with someone. :P. How come, the good ones seem to be booked. Anways, back home after the dinner and then a long sleep, I mean real long sleep. Got up at 11:30 in the afternoon yesterday. Well, it is Yesterday since I started writing this post. Thanks to Facebook for wasting the precious hours in between. :P. Woke up late in the afternoon, walked up to Kunnukuzhy in search of lunch only face failure. So walked further till MLA Veg Canteen for the lunch. Anyways, how to expect lunch at 2:30 in the afternoon. Luckily, we, Binu, Shekhar and me, didn't have to walk again. Had lunch and then a long walk back home under the hot sun. Sundar called up asking if we were at home. He came over in a jiffy, if an hour of waiting could be summerized as jiffy ;). Made plans to watch some movie. We were supposed to go for some Tamil film, changed mind at the last moment to watch Jodi Breakers, instead. Well, bad luck seemed to be in sync with us. Wanted to catch an auto to the theatre but no one was ready. Not sure why, so had to catch a bus. The film was supposed to start at 6:15 as per our calculations. We were already late by 2 mins. However, the timing shown was 6:30 when we reached the Theatre. Anjali was the place, SL theatres for the ignorant. Bought tickets and I had to wait while Sundar and Binu grabbed a quick puff or two. Checked weight and it showed 68.3, I think. Must have been my slippers to that extra 2-3kgs... Got in to watch the movie. Must say, it's a one time watch. Entertaining but it dragged a bit in between after the interval. Anyways, the climax was a quick roll-up leaving, at least me, a bit dissatisfied. Made my way back to Kani with Binu, bought few dosas for dinner in between.
Back at Kani, I had a quick dinner since I was famished by the end of the movie. Re-activated my Facebook profile, God know's for what reason. Had a long look at profile pictures of the beauties in my friends list. Then finished up this boring piece of a post and so ends my entry for now.
This is Jo signing off for now,
Adios.

A silent admiration

The sudden flash of lightening, that Eureka feeling. I don't know how to put this across. Let's try the to-the-point style. The one girl, I thought, I would never come to admire, the one who will never gain respect in my heart. Ha, the fallacies of the human nature. How time erodes those barriers, something that I now know first hand. I haven't been in touch, frankly I have rarely spoken to her or gazed upon those eyes. Her eyes, they seem so alive with passion to fight, the arrogance of having lived twice and sparkling with the fervour of living the moment. I could never let her know that she's finally won my admiration. Her spirit, her beauty and well, even her stubborness. Reminds me of my dear sis. But this is like the goddess who's to be worshipped, never loved. For you can have foolish hopes that she would return the favour. For such kindness is rare, even more thanx to the fact, that she's already bound to someone else.
Well, what do I call this feeling then ? Something short of worshipping, but higher than just admiration. Something that I can never express in open but something that cannot be contained within. It's the sort of  feeling one gets when you see something as simple as a floating cloud beneath your feet or that first bud of rose on a stem. Something so vunerable, yet so strong. Well, it looks like I am almost on my knees singing paeans of her praise. Hell ya, it is kinda praise, for beauty worth feeling about is worth writing about.
I'm kinda gonna keep those eyes nearby, for the hope that it would drag me out of any misery that I drown into so often. This isn't f*&$%# love. It's this feel of silent admiration of a mystery that revolves around those eyes, that spirited being of a human. All that I can do for now is perhaps a symbolic tipping of the hat before her. This said and written will never be discussed again because it would be sacrilege to this silent admiration. Aah, those eyes.. :D
This is Jo signing off for now,
Adios.

Towards Nirvana

Kuch naye he khile phool is gulistan mein,

Anjaane hi sahi, par khusbu to aane lagi

Khwaab kuch naye sajjne lage iss dil mein,

Kisi ki muskurahat yunhi yaad aane lagi...

Well, well. I feel swamped by that old feeling again. Something that I was unsure could happen again. Maybe it's just a flash in the pan, or who knows something for the better. Anyhow, one thing's for sure, I wanna know more about Miss Intriguing smile. There's always room for a bit of risk. Risk to gain something finally worth feeling the pain for. As one of the idiots in my office once messaged : "It's completely impossible to find someone who won't ever hurt you.. So go for someone who will make the pain worthwhile..", I hope MIS is the one. ;)
BTW, all this goody goody feeling is happening because I just finished seeing a funny, moving, romantic film "Crazy Stupid Love". Films make me feel better, hands on for the romantic ones. However, they do the opposite for some others that I know. To cut the story short, this post was about this new warmth filling my heart and so I would like to end it on this note.

"The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep."

This is Jo signing off for now,
Adios

A Novel Nirvana

Lamhon ke ye nazakat to dekho,
Is dard-e-dil mein phir bahaar sa aaya,
Phool aise khile he unke ke liye,
Ki ab hamaare nazaron ko koi aur na bhaaya.

For those who won't be able to decipher the above lines, here's a synopsis of the same. Look at the nuances of time that flows by, turning pain into garden, where each flower buds out for her, for there is none so worthy who could turn my gaze away from her.

Well, this is the 3rd draft for this post and yet I am unable to find words to describe my present feelings. I feel like a total idiot who knows what is it that his heart wants to say but his mind wanders about. Thinking of her face, the way she smiles and those glasses on her nose. Aaah, that's a sight to watch. What I wouldn't give to just stare at that beauty, to let her know what I feel for her. The care that seems to grow with each passing day and the anxiety of her withdrawing if that came to light. Never have I been so confused lately with what I feel and what I think. She's managed to pull out most of the stops that I had planted between her and my heart. I fear only one thing now, that I may be unable to express how much she means to me. As always, this fear of failure is chilling my spine. I wish to stop writing this for this may never see the light of the day, unless I moderate the content.

Just this one thing, she's made me look at the brighter side of life again. I wish that this angel of mine remains with me. Nothing short of a prayer, yet just a simple wish from someone who's besotted with love. As always, these words from Van Helsing, the movie, come to my rescue :
"I have no heart! I feel no love... nor fear... nor joy... nor sorrow! I am... hollow..."
It's time that I leave these words behind and begin a journey, a journey who's destination is an Angel. An "aishwaryam-olla" kutti, who is yet to know the value of her in my eyes.

This is Jo signing off,
Adios for now