Aapke intezaar mein

Aapse baat kiye ek arsa beet gaya,
Mere ye kaan, aapke alfaaz sunne ke liye taraste rahe.
Nighahon ko thandak aapkse ke deedaarse mile.
Is zehan mein aapka nasha bhara hai
Par jaane kyun aapse hi duur rehte hain.
Agar ye awaaz aap sunte hai,
To ek nazar is naacheez par daal dena,
Kahin aapke intezaar mein, yunhi marna jaaye hum.

Kitne dino ke baad, yeh dil aaj hindi mein bak raha hai. Kuch Aapki yaad, kuch ek change ke liye. Din bahut beet gaye yunhi chup rehkar, magar ab raha nahi jaata humse. Aap logonse baat kiye bina chain na aaye. par baat karne ke liye kuch ho tab na.Ek aur shaam jaane ko aayi, aur ek raat hone ko aayi. Hamme aapki yaad ne tarsaaya. lekin dard saale dil ne kamaaya. Gaali hum dena chahete hain, par kambhat is tehzeeb ne rok rakha hai. Bakwaas to hamaari purani aadat hai, par kuch aur kehe bhi to kya. Milte hain hum roz kisi na kisi se, par aapki yaad ne peecha nahi chhoda. Zehan ki awaaz ko kaise ansoona kare, to likh baithe ye choti si paighaam.

Alvida abhi ke liye,
Yaaron...

A F&@^# up Post

Totally random thoughts need to sync for a new idea to sprout leaves. A happening new year for me, seems like a constant high almost. What to blog about is out of the question for now. Just getting my thought pattern synced. A lot of CB tweets seems to have my mind reeling. For a totally jobless, bored writer it may be gr8, but for people like me it seems so annoying. Random tweets to read thru while in a highly tense testing envioronment seems like chore. Heart's happy with the fact that Knight Riders are on the high again. But mind warns against an IPL I repeat. Reading thru those books gives me a short break from despair, White Tiger and Inheritance of a Loss. But the recent lack of water in the taps is another twist on the already paining nerve of mine. On top of these, Buzz is F@#*#$ getting on my nerves. Everytime I open up Gmail, there's a whole lot of Buzzes to be read thru, F&$^$ u Google. Next in the line of firing is the bloody hell Zygna servers. Who the bloody f$%@ dropped coffee on them ?? Can't play a nice game of Mafia Wars after a totally exhausted day @ work. After that comes the relization that I have been shown the brutal naked face of life by my GR8 parents. Had a call from home stating to aim f&*$## higher, finish the F$%^$%^ B.Tech, get a better-paying job. In short, try to be like Liju chachan. WTF ?? I ain't a f%$^%$ machine to score 90+ scores and earn 30+ salary. I F#%%$# didn't want B.Tech in the 1st place, got B.Tech okey-dokey, who the hell thought IT would be such a royal pain in the arse. Got so many Back-logs that my Exam forms are starting to have less space to fill in all details. Damn the formatting for this post. It's a one single tirade against my F&$#^&# messed-up life. Foooooooh, that's done for now....

Now with the good things that have been happening to me. I got The White Tiger and Inheritance of a Loss as gifts for my 24th F&#@* birthday. I saw Naresh Iyer live b4 my eyes with friends by my side. I got to see a gr8 film yesterday, Vinnathandi Varuvaaya. I called up my First Love after so many long years,er.. months. I get to chat with a girl who's got the same thought patterns as me, atleast in terms of Mafia Wars and Kolkata :). Office life's starting to ease a bit around these days. Changed my F*#&*#-up old sandals for a new set. Fooooh, now that really feels gr8 :)... I forgive you, Zygna, for messing up those servers. I forgive you, CB, for those mindless tweets. But I ain't F#$#$% forgiving the Damn PWD assholes for f#$%$^& up my gr8 weekend with no water.

Signing off for now,

Until next time with a few more F#$%#$% and a few more choicest abuses....
Adios

Excerpts from a sweet memory

I wrote down this post last night, so most of the time references would be shifted by a day ;). Anyways, 2morow is the 14th of Feb, Valentine's Day. A day of love, westernized maybe, but still a special day for guys like us. Let the moral police go to hell, do what you wanna do but within the civilized limits. So starting of with my post ::

2morow night would be the 3rd anniversary. Can't believe I had so much balls to give a love-letter to a girl. A spur of the moment decision and off I was, with Criti, to Archies @ Overbridge to buy a card. Chose one that looked sweet yet simple. Hope "She" still has it with her. Was awake till 2 in the morning, re-writing letters, re-phrasing my words, making up poems and what not. Think I wrote my letter at least thrice b4 the final copy was ready.

Next day, was on hyper-drive. Came to college, late as usual, with only thing in mind. To propose to mi lady. Still remember the shivering and those knocking knees. Right in the classroom where I sat for 3 semesters, I opened up my heart. Another thing that binds my memory to GEC, Room no. 305. That room helped open my heart twice, once 3yrs back two days from now, and next on 26th of June last yr. I left my B.Tech in that class, after almost 3 yrs of fun with my old batch, joined back to B.Tech with my new batch in that same class, made new friends there and finally bade farewell to college from that very same room.

Coming back to Feb'07, I walked up and called her out from her gang. Gave her the card and my letter. Nothing filmy, just simple exchange of thoughts. Told her about my feelings for her, from the 1st day of college when I first saw her big eyes, her specs and those jasmine flowers on her hair. I did have doubts whether I could convey all that in whatever Malayalam I knew. Somehow, by God's grace I managed. She replied stating facts that she wasn't the best option for me then. All that she said on that day stills rings loud and clear in my ears. Even now, it hurts to think that I let go of such a sweet girl and completely messed it up. Not that I blame her for what she said, but myself for being so naive and laid-back when it comes to matters like these. I don't win arguments, not now and certainly not back then.

Looking back, I have learn't a thing or two for that experience. One, love at first sight isn't a myth. Two, it's great to have a broken heart, for you can learn to start anew. Three, it showed that unless you give it your all, you won't get what you yearn for. But then, I wouldn't have messed up, my already messed up, life so much if I hadn't "Niked".
Anyways, memories will remain and looking back to days after that, I gained so much in life that it could be termed as a blessing in disguise. See where I stand nwo, a nice job, an incomplete degree and ready-to-fall-in-love heart. In short, seems like "Jo hota hai, acche ke liye hi hota hai"(No pun intended).

Are we truly the Republic of India ??

Bored with nothing else to do. Mafia Wars is down for maintainence. Got up late after a long late-night surfing session. There goes the 60th Republic Day of India. Was going thru NDTV's editorials when something related to our Constitution came up. One of the articles was about the events thru which our Constitution was framed. The link to the article is Constitution: The Real Story. Felt gr8 to read that those who framed this gr8 book of rules were far better human beings than most of us today. They looked at everything ranging reservation to judiciary with a different perspective. They questioned their authority in framing those tenets of republic india. Looking at those high ideals which they upheld while framing the Constitution makes me wonder whether we would ever see politicians as good as them. Given the current state of India's beaurocracy, the slogan "Sau mein ninyanve beyimaan, phir bhi mera Bharat mahan" seems so apt for the Indian psyche.



Don't know why I wanna blog this even though I myself am a part of this systematically corrupted beaurocracy. All changes take place from within and with a hope that from today, the 60th Republic Day of our great nation, I would try to be a better Indian, a better person and, most importantly, a better human being. This post seems to be poised to make me more confused about my sense of patriotism. Which would be better, we, not me, being an Indian who stands up and salutes the National Flag on "THESE" days and then forgets about it, or we being the Indian who respect the Flag, the Nation and most importantly, our fellow Indian brothers and sisters ? Rather than the pretence that we love India, let us come forward and show that we do really care about our Motherland. So next time, you hear our National Song or Anthem being played, please do stand up in respect. This is just a test of whether we would be ready to do what is right even if it seems contrary to the public belief.

Signing off for now,
Jai Hind

Back into Action......

The longest delay b/w posts ends today. Throwing off the laziness that has surrounded me, I hereby resume my blogging activities from today. Blah-blah-blah.. Had so many things to post about the last 2/3 months but I won't go into that. It has bogged me down till now, no more. The main aim behind this post today is to document the fact that I saw another of my seniors in Technopark.

About the day so far, nothing much expect that I am growing lazier as the days go by. Haven't yet transferred my this month's budget into my running account. Hoping to do that tomorow early morning. Got up late around 9, slept for another hour or so. Had a late breakfast and got ready for office. Reached office, did some catching up with yesterday's mail and stuff and before I knew, it was time for lunch. Went out with one of my team-mates, Angel. The place was actually a house where lunch is also served much like the Marakada b4 our college. Filled up my stomach to the max, so much that I couldn't stand straight. Came back to office, did some testing, prepared a few testcases and as time flew, it was time for the next break.

We usually have tea from the Food Court on the 7th floor. The whole team is around during those times, i.e the 5 of us. Arun chettan's missing in action bcoz of his reccent nose surgery. Poor guy, can't even breathe properly at present and so he's on leave for now. Anyways, we bought tea and Kappa for snacks. It's usually biscuits but today, I was still feeling damn hungry. Had a gr8 time there, eating, talking, making fun of each other and last, but not the least, looking at the beauties surrounding us. Frankly, the best of Trivandrum can be found, at Technopark or specifically, in the FoodCourt at lunch and snacks time. After a wonderful half an hour, we all came back to the office. Next in line was the remaining work to be done. Given the low amount of work for the last few days, it was child's play and then back to Kathis in office. How work and fun goes hand in hand can be learn't 1st hand at Qburst. Man, the culture here's just amazing. Frankly, the 1st place any newbie should work is QBurst, the pay may be a bit low at first but the learning curve's great.

Moving on to next phase, Dinner time. Usually I get out by 9:30 and it's hectic work till then. But today, given the low stress, I made my way to Bhavani, the opp. building for dinner. Chicken Noodles was the only thing left and amazingly, my stomach got filled with that. Came back home in company cab, and on the way to home, I was almost sure that today there would be a post no matte how late it gets. Well the post is almost over and the main info is still missing. :)

This happened while I was coming back from Bhavani to my office. After having the delicious dinner, me and Arun chettan, this is another Arun, G for prosterity sake, were coming back in the lift. From the floor below the canteen, a few girls got in, Infy I think. I didn't see any special beauty in between them until another one got in. At first, I wasn't sure whether it was her, and given my nature, I would stay mum rather ask her. But then, I knew it had to be her Linda Mary Joshep Stanley, I hope the name's in correct order, for the resemblance was far too much for her to be someone else. At that perfect instance, my tongue got stuck and I couldn't gather courage to ask whether it was her. Can't believe that I can't change for the better.

Anyway's she got out at bottom floor, came out of the building, turned left and I turned right. End of story for now.

Signing off for now...
Adios....